It's Back to School Time!

It is September 1st... where did the summer go? Soon Summer will turn into Fall bringing cooler weather and the start of the holiday season. Changes happen everyday. Some are more significant to us than others. As one of the Children's Program Coordinators here at Cornerstone of Hope I wanted to share with the parents, teachers & guidance counselors some information about the back to school season and how it can be impacted by grief.

**********************************************************************************************************************
If your child/teen is facing a recent loss he or she could have some new challenges now that school is back in session. Grieving is hard work and takes a lot of energy. In school, children are asked to focus on tasks at hand and learn new information. If you are a grieving adult you know that your memory and concentration can be heavily impacted by grief. Sometimes it seems impossible to remember simple things let alone complex fractions. Children, like adults, may become frustrated, depressed, and their self-esteem may go down when they realize that they are not functioning at their “normal” level. During individual and/or group sessions children of different ages have sometimes tearfully expressed that they were doing their best, but that they just couldn’t focus or remember. They want to do well, but their minds just are not cooperating.

As parents, guardians, teachers and supportive adults we need to let children/teens know that what they are experiencing is normal, although difficult, and we will help them get through this difficult time. Here are some tips to help grieving children/teens during the school year:

1. Assure your child that his/her memory and concentration will return and that this is a normal reaction to grief.

2. Make sure your child’s teacher(s) knows about the loss and how it has been affecting your child.

3. Keep open communication between teacher and parent/guardian. Often teachers will recognize changes or behaviors in the child that parents may not see at home.

4. Both teachers and parents may need to give children more time to complete tasks, and have the child (if old enough) write down assignments and/or instructions and due dates.

5. Being understanding and more patient does not equal spoiling or not disciplining the child. Structure and discipline help children feel safe. They need to know their worlds still have a sense of order.

6. Work with your child and his or her teacher to arrange a plan for emotional episodes. “Grief attacks” can happen at the most awkward times. If a child gets upset and needs to leave the classroom and go to the office or counselor’s office, a signal or understanding needs to be arranged between the teacher and student. Students need to understand that they are expected to not abuse the privilege.

7. If the child begins to engage in dangerous behavior, begins to pull away from everyone or starts displaying a lot of anger (perhaps getting in fights), or is getting into trouble at school, it would be helpful to get outside support. If grief issues are not addressed, children are at a higher risk for substance abuse, problems in personal relationships, and clinical depression. Grief counseling can help children understand their grief and learn to express their thoughts and feelings in healthy and appropriate ways.

**************************************************************************************************************************

Update on What's Happening at COH:

We are getting ready to start some new groups this Fall. As always we will have our Adult support groups and Taking F.L.I.G.H.T. support groups for families. In addition we will be piloting a group for families impacted by a loss by suicide as well as groups to support our service men & women and thier families. Check out the website or newsletter for more details.

We will continue to host our Monthly Family Workshops and the Adult Monthly groups for people who have already participated in one of the 8-week groups. The monthly workshops and groups are a great way for people to establish a better support system with other people who have expereinced a loss but have worked through their grief. Many times they are more social and less structured.

The Christmas Candle Lighting and Rememberance Ceremony will be held on Sunday, December 10, 2006. There will be two sittings; the first at 1:00 pm and the second at 4:30 pm. Again, check the website or newsletter for more information.

If you are not currently on our mailing list, please send us an email with your name & address so that you will receive our quarterly newsletter which lists the upcoming programs and services.

A personal note:

I will not be updating the blog for a few months because I will be on maternity leave. Now, I am training a few other staff members so hopefully you will get to meet some new folks here at COH. I know I will be checking the blog from home to see what they are up to!! *smile*

Contact us at:
216-524-3787 or
hope@cornerstoneofhope.org

Until next time...

Stacey